


ghosts

by PyjamaEnzel



Series: Lone Warrior of Light Imry [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:20:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23197720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PyjamaEnzel/pseuds/PyjamaEnzel
Summary: Soul problems, soul crystal problems, Ardbert being a good big bro.Near the end of 5.0 Shadowbringers MSQ. Some DRK quest references/spoilers. (Lone WoL Imry) (Roegadyn [Sea Wolf] Warrior of Light)
Relationships: Ardbert & Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV)
Series: Lone Warrior of Light Imry [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1687714
Comments: 1
Kudos: 23





	ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> (different continuity than "sentimental fool", Esteem/Keten never gets their own body.)

She'd seated herself on a low wall outside the building, and was staring into the distance at the softly lit spires, holding on to something that hung from a chain around her neck. 

"Imry," Ardbert said after a moment, as gently as he could. "Your friends--they're waiting for you." 

What he didn't say aloud, didn't need to: _there's no telling how much time you have left._

She didn't look at him right away. He moved closer, and her expression would have made his stomach drop, had he still possessed one. She looked--blank, almost, her eyes glassy and unfocused. For a moment he thought the transformation must have started, and the back of his neck went cold. 

"Oh--" she said, and suddenly she was there again, present, brow furrowed slightly from the pain. She let go of what she was holding, and it fell to rest against her chest: a crystal, perhaps the size of a large coin. Not her Crystal of Light, which he remembered was a clear, icy blue. This one was a deep crimson, almost black, edges carved into smooth, sharp points. A symbol was etched into the surface, but he couldn't make it out. 

"Are you all right?" he asked, knowing the answer anyway. 

"I can't hear her anymore." She sounded so tired. 

"Who? ...Hydaelyn?" When she didn't reply, he looked to the crystal, then back to her face. She was staring at the smoothly paved stone beneath their feet. "...what is that?" 

"Ah...this? A soul crystal…it isn't really mine, but I've been looking after it." 

"Looking after it?" 

"Well, the person it belonged to...is gone," she said quietly. 

"Then it sounds like it belongs to you now." 

Imry's eyes widened very slightly, though she still refused to make eye contact. It was hard to tell if she was nervous or simply lost in thought. 

It wouldn't do for her to stay here, but he could hardly go off and lead her companions back to her… 

"Who can't you hear?" he asked, hoping he could at least get her talking again. "The person who owned it?" 

She shook her head slightly. "No...I mean...perhaps a--a little? But it's mostly me…" 

Was she far gone enough to be speaking nonsense already? He tried not to wince. "Imry... _who_ were you listening for?" 

She straightened a bit, finally looking at him, nervous realization dawning on her face. 

"Oh...oh. You probably think I've gone mad." 

What could he even say to _that_ \-- 

"Remember, you're speaking to a ghost." Ardbert was unable to keep the dryness out of his voice. Her cheeks actually colored at that. He decided that was a good sign. 

"I-it's hard to explain," Imry stammered. "But ever since the first Lightwarden, I...I mean, I used to be able to use magic. The magic that I learned from this…" She fiddled with the crystal. "It's darkness-aspected. You, uh...you might remember." 

"Right," he said slowly. "Is that what you hit me in the face with back then? Other than your shield." 

"I'm sorry…" 

"Don't be. You were defending yourself. I'm hardly going to hold a grudge about that. But...used to? You can't anymore?" 

She nodded. "It got harder and harder…and...after Amh Araeng, I wasn't able to use it at all...I guess it makes sense, if I have too much Light." She looked down at her lap. "But...it's more than that. It's just...it's a long story, and it's absurd and--" 

Her voice cracked, and she pressed her palms to her face. It was difficult to wipe away tears with gauntleted hands, but she made a valiant effort anyway. Ardbert looked away, embarrassed that he couldn't even comfort her. 

To hells with it--she certainly wasn't in a state to fight an Ascian like this, let alone the corruption… 

"Long story or no...I'll listen," he said. 

It came haltingly at first, but she managed...a tale of a dead man with unfinished business. Of the shade conjured by her guilt and her grief, by all the things she buried deep inside herself. Her shadow that walked in her footsteps. The one who steadied her hand. The one who kept walking when she was too weary to take another step. 

The _beast_ her enemy called upon when her own strength and will failed to entertain him. 

How along with the arts she'd learned from the soul crystal, that strength and the shadow's voice had faded the longer she spent on the First… 

"Your companions...the Scions," Ardbert said carefully. "Do they know?" Imry was honest to a fault, after all. Surely… 

She shook her head. "I've never...when it first happened...they were all. Gone. Away. I was--well, just with Alphinaud...I never really told him either...I...I couldn't. If they noticed that I fought differently, sometimes...they've never said a word. Only Sid and Rielle--because…w-well, they of all people deserved to know." 

As much as he felt for her uncertainty, her fear, all he could think was-- 

_Why now?_

As if he'd spoken aloud, she answered. 

"As I am, I don't know if I'm _enough._ " 

He took a deep breath, out of habit, though he hadn't needed air for a century. 

"You know you're not…" 

"A-alone, yes--but--" 

Hands trembling, she held something out to him. It was the form the Amaurotine at the Bureau of Administration had given her. It was printed in fine, even letters that he didn't recognize. 

"All of this is--so much. This city and--it makes me--I feel sick. I _know_ it somehow, but I've never been here before--I didn't--" 

He'd felt it, too. Like in a dream where everything looked unfamiliar, wholly unlike any place you knew, yet it was permeated by a profound nostalgia. 

"What that person said--about me--about _us_ \--" 

She looked terrified and guilty all at once. 

"I can't be...I don't _want_ to be anyone else. Warrior of Light...Warrior of Darkness...none of it fits. I'm just--I'm just a sailing merchant's girl! I wanted to help people! I just wanted…" 

_We were just adventurers trying to make our way in the world--_

"Everyone wishes I were someone else. Even...him." 

_Emet-Selch._

"Now I know...this whole time, he wanted me to be...them. And at every turn, I disappointed him. After all, I'm just." She straightened her back and swallowed hard. " _A foolish, wretched girl. Useless. Empty-headed. A mere shadow of--_ " 

"Stop it," Ardbert said firmly. 

Imry looked at him in surprise, falling silent. 

"While I have to admit your Ascian impression is...impressive, I'll eat my axe before I agree with anything one of those bastards says. So don't expect it." He folded his arms, frowning at her. "Besides, think about what being _useful_ to one of them means--me and mine certainly were, and you see how that turned out. You don't want that." 

She said nothing for a long moment, staring at her knees. 

"If anything, there's too _much_ going on in your head," Ardbert said finally. "You're overthinking it all. It's clouding your judgment." 

"What am I supposed to think about?" Imry asked miserably. "It turns out I'm just a piece of someone else...and also there's a piece of me missing and I don't know if I'll ever get her _back_ \--" 

Come to think of it, Ardbert wasn't certain why he himself was so calm about it all. Lifetimes ago, he might have reacted the same as she did now, albeit with more cursing. Perhaps it was the lack of adrenaline. Perhaps it was just...that he'd had a feeling. For a while now. All the past few bells had done had put words to it. 

"You miss her," he said, as if it had just occurred to him. It looked like it had just occurred to Imry as well. 

"I miss her," she said quietly. "She's...rude and always angry and...she looks out for me. She just wants to protect me." 

"Listen," he said carefully. "I'm hardly an arcane expert, but...the crystal is intact, right? It's not damaged?" 

Imry nodded. 

"So have one of your mage friends take a look at it, once this is over. I'm sure they'll be able to figure it out. If you need something to focus on--sometimes the world is just too big. Sometimes--you just need to think about one thing. Someone you want to see again." 

The look she gave him then was...too knowing. He had to look away. 

"That's enough. That's--allowed to be enough." 

"...Thank you." 

When he looked back she was rubbing her face again, perhaps trying to obscure the evidence that she'd been crying. 

"It's nothing. You did your best to cheer me up whenever I got depressing on you, didn't you? It's about time I returned the favor. Just...try to get moving before the others start to worry. All right?"


End file.
